How Do We Collaborate When Tensions Are Running High?

Effective teamwork is all about those lofty ideals—unity, collaboration, and empowerment. Every article out there talks about how important these traits are for getting things done. And honestly, we all want to grab onto these high-flying concepts.

But hold up for a second. What happens when we find ourselves in the thick of confrontation? Many school leaders are grappling with this right now. Is it worth the time and energy to chase after harmony when tensions are rising and emotions are raw? It’s completely reasonable to feel apprehensive. For some, diving into collaboration seems like navigating a minefield while things heat up around you.

Understanding the Urge to Retreat

When conflict brews, our natural instinct is often to hunker down, play it safe, and keep quiet. We totally get it! School leaders have endured two years of wild change in teaching methods and school management. They’ve juggled policies—or often a lack of policy guidance—trying to keep classrooms running smoothly while students and staff feel the pressure. All the while, global unrest and pushback flow around them, surfacing during school board meetings, PTA gatherings, or town halls.

At times, it might seem like the easier route is to skip the tough conversations. After all, who really wants to dive into yet another round of heated debates? But what do we do when we’re surfing this wave of confrontation?

Riding the Waves of Conflict

Picture this: a surfer in a riptide. Instead of fighting against it like crazy, they ride the wave until it weakens. It’s all about saving energy for the right moments. We might take a page from this strategy when confronting challenges in our discussions. It’s about recognizing not just what we say, but also when and how we say it.

Now let’s ponder a crucial question: What do we miss out on when we choose not to engage with passionate folks in our community? Do we risk alienating ourselves—or worse, limit our chances for real change—by avoiding the messy conversations?

Times are a bit rough right now, and we need to put a bit more thought into how we approach collaboration than we did in the good old days. While collaboration was second nature back then, it feels even more vital now. So how exactly do we foster collaboration in such turbulent waters?

Insights from the Experts

To get some answers, I reached out to a few amazing leaders in education and transformational change. Here’s what Lacee Jacobs (DEI head at BTS Spark), Cindy Rogan (educational leadership coach), and Chaunté Garrett (superintendent in Rocky Mount, N.C.) had to say. Their thoughts are grouped by common themes.

Courage: The Heart of Leadership

Cindy Rogan calls it “the art of leadership.” She views it as a dance that requires courage, compassion, and curiosity. It takes guts to listen deeply before jumping into problem-solving mode, especially when emotions are at an all-time high.

Compassion: Creating Safe Spaces

Lacee Jacobs emphasizes the importance of compassion. We’re all a work in progress, and creating a safe space for disagreement and mistakes paves the way for genuine collaboration. It all starts with understanding that everyone involved is feeling something intensely.

Cindy chimes in, explaining that having compassion allows us to dig deeper. Consider what might be driving someone’s strong emotions. Asking what values lie beneath those feelings opens doors to common ground.

Curiosity: Asking the Right Questions

Lacee believes curiosity starts when we put aside our assumptions about others. To cultivate an environment of collaboration, let’s drop our agendas and show real interest in others’ experiences. It’s all about asking questions we don’t know the answers to!

Cindy stresses listening with both head and heart. By asking questions that tap into others’ beliefs and motivations, we create a foundation for collaborative dialogue. Balancing courage, compassion, and curiosity makes us more prepared for those tough conversations.

Embracing Discomfort

Lacee points out that embracing discomfort is a powerful way to build adaptive leadership skills. The more comfortable we are with uncomfortable discussions, the stronger we can collaborate. This mentality encourages us to consider multiple perspectives.

Chaunté adds another nugget of wisdom: sometimes, you just have to take a step back. Acknowledge that you might not be the one to lead a hard conversation; it’s okay to listen and learn instead.

Ultimately, lacee emphasizes that collaboration isn’t about making others see things your way. It’s a chance for us to shift mindsets while valuing relationships over proving a point.

Shifting Ownership of Collaboration

Chaunté makes a solid point. By including diverse voices in conversations, we diffuse ownership. Suddenly, it’s not just about the person with the fancy title; it’s about the community coming together to strengthen the community.

Collaboration goes beyond mere cooperation. We’re not just agreeing with something we don’t really believe in. You know that feeling when you’ve been “volun-told”? Yeah, cooperation without investment in the outcome feels empty. To truly collaborate, we need to co-create solutions from the ground up, ensuring everyone is on board and invested in the success of the endeavor.

But don’t confuse collaboration with complete abdication. It’s not about surrendering your beliefs. For collaboration to shine, everyone involved needs to own their part. If we just roll over and submit our perspectives, ownership flees, and the project falls apart.

Engaging Dissenting Voices

Collaboration demands diverse perspectives, especially when tensions are high. Excluding voices means risking irrelevance. By actively engaging with those differing opinions, we nurture an inclusive environment. So, be curious, compassionate, and brace yourself to step outside your comfort zone.

Even if it feels frustrating at first, remember the goal is to create space for conversations. Over time, you won’t just shift mindsets—you’ll empower voices that matter, foster inclusion, and ultimately bring communities closer together.

Four Protocols for Effective Meetings

All right, let’s pivot a bit. School leaders constantly grapple with balancing management tasks and engaging in thoughtful instructional leadership. One key space for developing these skills is in meetings that already exist. So how do you flip a stuffy meeting into a collaborative space?

Believe it or not, meetings are often at the top of the “things we’d love to de-implement” list. But what if we could turn them into valuable learning experiences? It starts with a change in mindset.

Protocols to Consider

Let’s dive into four actionable protocols that can help you transform your meetings and elevate collaboration.

1. Success Criteria

Success criteria aren’t just for students; they work wonders in meetings, too! Whenever I facilitate workshops or sessions, I love to ask participants what they want to learn. Often, folks attending have been “voluntold” to be there and may not even know why they’re participating!

Here’s how it works: After sharing my session’s success criteria, I ask participants for their individual learning goals. Using tech tools like Mentimeter, participants can submit their responses anonymously. Boom! Suddenly, the meeting connects with what everyone cares about!

2. SWOT Analysis

SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. Structured discussions around this protocol open the door to authentic conversations among teams. If we want effective collaboration, we need to smash through unspoken barriers. Each session gives space for highlighting pride and concerns, making it a win-win.

As a facilitator, I set up a safe environment where participants feel comfortable opening up. We usually dive into the specific focus of the day—like instructional leadership or team efficacy—allowing everyone to share valuable insights.

3. Q for Questions

Allow time to connect content to ongoing work! This way, we can gauge which ideas resonate most with our attendees. Tying feedback to questions helps participants clarify any doubts and incorporate new ideas into their work.

4. Realm of Concern

When educators engage in professional development, they often forget their influence back at school. If they don’t recognize they have power, it can kill their motivation. Thankfully, using the Realm of Concern protocol empowers them by helping educators voice their concerns effectively.

We provide materials like Post-it notes and chart paper. Educators jot down concerns, either individually or collaboratively. This simple method calls attention to their worries and creates a foundation for change.

Wrapping It All Up

By embracing curiosity, demonstrating compassion, and leaning into discomfort, you can spark a more inclusive and proactive environment. Remember, real collaboration isn’t something you boost with a quick fix; it’s a gradual journey. But every step you take helps create a culture where all voices matter, and positive change can happen—even during tough times.